In the last blog I wrote, I shared the conviction I had about how few times I came to God in prayer just because I wanted to be with Him, just because I enjoyed being with Him, just because I love Him. I always left His presence realizing how much I still needed to grow and wanting to be more like Him. Though I didn’t ask for anything during those times, I still realized that I could not get to where I wanted to be and where He wanted me to be on my own. I am not able to make myself be like Him. I am flesh and blood battling with a sinful nature. The qualities I need to be like Him are spiritual qualities. I think I am addressing the struggle we all face.
Larry Crabb, in his book The PAPA Prayer, explains that the more honestly you face where you are and who you are, the more aware you’ll become of a holy space within you that is a void filled with desire for what only God can provide, and second-thing pleasures and counterfeit satisfaction can never fill it.
This truth points to the heart of our struggle. Our fleshly nature becomes overly concerned with second-thing pleasures and content with counterfeit satisfaction and our desire for all that God has to give is neglected and not sought.
With this awareness, comes another. We are fully dependent on the work of His Holy Spirit to produce His character in us. But the glorious thing about the Holy Spirit is that He is a gentle Healer who sees us as we are and approaches His transforming work in love rather than repulsion, and knows better than we do who we most want to be, and has the power to transform us into that person.
But it’s still a process. The struggle continues in the learning and growing process. Our lives are not all that we want them to be. We are not wholly who we want to be. But we know that our Father still loves us. He is not writing us off. We are still his children. We are wanted, and we matter. He wants to continue the work He has begun in us, growing us, preparing us, because in spite of it all, we have been called to be part of the greatest thing going on in the world today. He knows we need him, and he wants us to ask for his help.